Last night on LOST Echo head-butted Lock. Lock got knocked out and I realized that head-butting is an invaluable skill to possess. Whenever someone gets head-butted on TV or in the movies it's just like WABAM! Game over, he wins, the other guy is out. That's the kind of street fighter I want to be. If I get into a brawl with adolescent hoodlums I don't want to waste tens of minutes kicking and punching... just WABAM! And it's over. Or if there are several of them: WABAM! WABAM! WABAM! WABAM! WABAM! WABAM! And they're all down. Then I just swagger away with the sweet sounds of "Saturday Night Fever" blaring in my imagination.
To learn how to head-butt I turned to the wisest mentor I know: Google. I was hoping for an instructional video on video.google.com but all I found was Didsi Headbutts the Garage Door. I went back to the google web search, which directed to my second wisest mentor: Wikipedia. Wikipedia taught me the art of head-butting and, although my friends wouldn't let me practice on them, I practiced on my palm for a while and I think I've got it down. My previous fighting experience only amounted to two skills - slapping and leg-sweeping. With the addition of head-butting I think I'm pretty well rounded. I honestly can't wait to head-butt someone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not out looking for a fight, but someday a fight - where mortality is on the line - is going to find me, then WABAM! Coma coma coma coma coma coma coma coma stayin' a live, stayin' alive. Ah ah ah ah stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
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